Wistful Devotion
by Miss Meryl
Summary: Oneshot. Thoughts by a secret viewer, unknown until the last paragraph not to be taken seriousy.


**Hiya! By demand I have returned to TSOM fandom! (Yay for me!) And I really enjoyed writing my last fic. **

**I forgot my disclaimer last time (hits head) I guess that's what a story at 12 am will do to you! LOL. I don't own the sound of music!**

**I was not really sure whether to post this or not as I didn't know how people would react.**

**I'm not saying any more, read and see…**

**Amy**

I am in love. There is no other explanation for what I'm feeling inside me right now. I know I shouldn't be; I know I am with someone else.

If only I weren't with another, our age difference and she weren't the governess I would tell her, I would let her know that her name dances from my lips, Maria is everywhere. She is in my mind, my soul; my entire heart aches for Maria.

Yet I am in love with her. She is perfect, she is ultimate. She completes my soul with her laugh; she makes me one with the whole world.

How I wish I could tell her this, yell it out to the universe that Maria is the most perfect woman in the world.

But alas, my soul shall perish in the silence, silent every day and every lonely night that I spend thinking of her.

I will feel it in my soul, as I lie there in the darkness, overcome with my thoughts and emotions, her name will call out to me in my dreams, haunt me forever and ever.

Every raindrop that sounds outside and trickles down the windows, comparable to my unshed tears that threaten to creep down my face when I know that my love can never be returned.

Those who have felt unreturned love must know; know the aching emptiness I feel inside me when she is away from my side for but a moment. To go through every day with her meters away from me, yet I am unable to hold her.

I cannot speak to anyone though. Who could I speak to? Not her, not anyone. She is not allowed to love someone; she is not allowed to feel. I mean really _feel_. Feel the love of another person, the love that can connect two people.

She loves everyone. That is why, I think, I fell for her in this way. The pinecone was when I realized that she was truly devoted our family, when she did not tell, though we all knew. It was after that dinner I knew I was in love.

If she was not so perfect maybe I would not be in this state. If she was not so charming, and pleasant and wonderful.

If only her hair was not so golden, shining like the sun as it dances through it's sea of endless blue.

Maybe if her eyes were not so vast, so intriguingly bright then I would be free from my wistful dreams and wishes.

Why could she not be just a little less perfect, just that tiny bit less than what she was? Though I would never change her, it is too late now. I have fallen; I have fallen for the most immaculate creature in the world.

She fell into the lake and walked, dripping from it, soaking wet and still there was the happy glow set on her face, the wonderful smile that lifts my spirits and makes me wish to fly to the moon.

I feel as though I can fly over the moon. I can soar higher than the birds in the sky; I can fly away with her through time and space, past moon and stars, seeing and breathing nothing but her.

If I could do that, just fly away, I would be happy. With her there beside me we would go wherever our hearts led us.

Away from everything and everyone, nothing to hold us back, no one to say that it was wrong, that God would shun us, punish us for our indecent acts.

I feel that God's wrath would be worth it. Just to be with Maria, see her laughing face, her dancing eyes and her tattered old dress flying about her with the wind on an autumn day.

My love is empty; I know that she will never love me. I dare not even dream for one kiss, just one. One kiss to satisfy my soul, to put me out of my pain that I feel when I know that my love is not returned.

I wish that she would sing one of her lovely songs to me, lifting me and aiding my wounds, mending my broken heart from when I thought that all love was empty.

I wish that I could see her every day. Not as my governess, but as simply Maria. I wish that she could love me, as I love her.

I wish that she could hold me close; whispering my name into the night, assuring me that our sins were worth it, that God would indeed forgive.

I wish that she could lower her voice, speaking in a voice that only I could ever hear, "I love you My Liesl."

**Okay look, here's the truth because some reviewers are just not getting it: I am a nice person. Plain and simple. I do my chores, I love my parents, I dump boys nicely and I'm back before my curfew.**

**There is no point in me saying "PLEASE don't flame," because there will always be those obnoxious people who can't see outside the box. "Yes, we all know that Liesl and Maria have a mother and daughter love!" We've seen the movie.**

**So why do you feel the need to flame me and send me nasty e-mails? (You three know who you are!) I am sick and tired of being bullied, chewed on and spat out by intolerant people who just can NOT seem to understand that this is fanFICTION not fanNON-FICTION.**

**Whether you liked it or not, I'll bet that when you read the last few lines, you thought something along the lines of "what the hell!"**

**If you thought that, my flames and hate mail and worries have been worth it. I have created a story unlike any other on TSOM, my mission was to make people gasp in shock. People have something to remember bad or good.**

**I'm never usually so rude but words are how I communicate to the world. Maybe some people have wanted to write a different story like this, but were too afraid of the reviewers… I am not afraid. Think outside the square.**

Amelia Johnsonn

XXX


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